It can be said that we are the sum total of all our experiences. In this blog
my experiences are related to a journey from fear, and despair to faith and
hope. These experiences are replicated in the lives of millions, as it will become
evident. At the age of fifteen, after an unhappy and fearful childhood with no
friendships. I was a loner lacking confidence and self esteem. I entered the
workplace and found alcohol. All my workmates seemed to drink a lot, and I
had found what I thought was my best friend, alcohol.
That empty feeling that had been with me all my life seemed to be filled
by this new found elixir. It seemed to be a magic liquid that gave me confidence
soaring self esteem and the ability to chat with girls. Little did I know that I
Had started a sequence of events that would almost kill me fourteen years
later. I became hopelessly addicted to alcohol. It is said that alcohol is a great
remover of stains, and blemishes, but it will also remove you in the end!
Addictions run deep within humanity. Mine was alcohol but there are dozens
of others, all equally devastating, which kill millions every day. An addition like
mine is one of constriction. It is an ever narrowing malignant vortex that screws
ever tighter on its victim until if unchecked, will terminate life as the vortex
reaches its narrowest point (your death) it will first however remove everything
else that you hold dear, as it did with me.
The addictive soul who like me feels empty inside, has a gaping hole that they
hope their addition will fill. It never does! We are ‘hole’ people and not “WHOLE”
people. I nearly died of my addiction and at the end of it, I was desolate, numb.
completely lost and full of nightmarish phantoms that caused me to cower and
freeze in panic. There is a solution to all addictions if we face up to it. I was
beyond human aid, although I have had immense help and aid over the years from
others who like me, had this addiction and were recovering through a self help
group A A. I also needed help from a power greater than me. I fell to my knees and
asked for release from this dreadful illness, that was literally choking me to death
in a negative spiral of constrictive energy squeezing out the life force and leaves you
either dead or insane (brain dead). I had an awakening after falling to the ground and
asking the Great spirit of the universe for help. I completely surrendered to that
mighty Being and, as I did this, a great weight came upon me and I could hear my bones
and sinews crunching under the pressure. Then a voice said to me “what do you know”?
I went to say what I thought I knew and immediately the weight got heavier , again
the voice said, “what do you know”? This time I said NOTHING as all! With that
the weight lifted off me and the voice said “now you are teachable my friend.
From that day over forty seven years ago now, I have been well sober and free.
This blog is about sharing that you too, my friend reading this , can recover
as well, find peace and inner contentment and fill that “HOLE” by
becoming “WHOLE”. May peace and serenity capture your hearts today.
Warmest regards michael.
firstname.lastname@example.org any feedback welcomed.